Baseball Movie Quotes

Great baseball movie quotes have helped keep these memorable films alive in the hearts of fans.

The hilarious rants of Jimmy Dugan (A League of Their Own) or the epic radio calls of Harry Doyle (Major League).

No fan’s knowledge is complete without the best baseball movie quotes the game (and Hollywood) has to offer.

So this is it.  This is my corn.  You people are guests in my corn.

61*  |  A League of Their Own  |  Angels in the Outfield
The Bad News Bears  |  Bang the Drum Slowly  |  Baseball
The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings  |  The Bronx is Burning
Bull Durham  |  Cobb  |  Damn Yankees!  |  Eight Men Out
Everyone’s Hero  |  The Fan  |  Fever Pitch  |  Field of Dreams
For Love of the Game  |  Game 6  |  Hardball
It Happens Every Spring  |  Little Big League  |  Major League
Moneyball  |  Mr. 3000  |  Mr. Baseball  |  The Natural  |  The Perfect Game
The Pride of St. Louis  |  The Pride of the Yankees  |  The Rookie
The Sandlot  |  The Scout  |  The Stratton Story  |  The Winning Season



Yogi Berra:  Ninety percent of the game is half mental.

Roger Maris:  [after Mantle hit a home run]  Curve ball?
Mickey Mantle:  Yeah, but it didn’t curve.

Mickey Mantle:  Roger, are we feuding?
Roger Maris:  They said so on the TV, it must be true.
Mickey Mantle:  Well, f*** you then.
Roger Maris:  Up yours.

Mickey Mantle:  [after Maris hit his 59th home run]  What happened?  I was on the john.

Mickey Mantle:  I’m expectin’ a guest, and his name is Mr. Jack…Daniels.

Milt Kahn:  He had a great season.
Artie Green:  Ah, the pressure got to him.
Milt Kahn:  You ever play baseball, Artie?
Artie Green:  No. Not really.
Milt Kahn:  That’s what I thought.

Whitey Ford:  Hey, Slick, how come every time you get drunk it costs me money?

Ralph Houk:  Well, you can change the lineup if you want, but not while I’m manager.  And I’ll tell you something else, the right guy is going to break that stupid record!

Top of Baseball Movie Quotes

A League of Their Own

A League of Their Own

Jimmy Dugan:  Are you crying?  Are you crying?  ARE YOU CRYING?  There’s no crying!  THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!

Jimmy Dugan:  It’s supposed to be hard.  If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard… is what makes it great.

Jimmy Dugan:  Uh, Lord, hallowed be Thy name.  May our feet be swift; may our bats be mighty; may our balls… be plentiful.  Lord, I’d just like to thank You for that waitress in South Bend.  You know who she is–she kept calling Your name. And God, these are good girls, and they work hard.  Just help them see it all the way through.  Okay, that’s it.

Dottie Hinson:  How good am I?
Jimmy Dugan:  You stink, you’re lousy, you’re only the best player in the league.

Doris Murphy:  Evelyn.  Your kid ate the line up.

Mae Mordabito:  Evelyn.  Evelyn.  I’m sorry but I have to kill your son.
[begins to chase Stillwell with a bat]
Doris Murphy:  Mae!  Mae!  Don’t use my bat ! Use Marla’s.  It’s heavier.

Doris Murphy:  Okay, let’s make like a bread truck and haul buns ladies.

Ira Lowenstein:  Great game, Jimmy.  I especially liked that move in the seventh inning when you scratched your balls for an hour.
Jimmy Dugan:  Well, anything worth doing is worth doing right.

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Angels in the Outfield

Angels in the Outfield

Roger Bomman:  Dad, when do you think we’re gonna be a family again?
Mr. Bomman:  From where I’m sitting, I’d say when the Angels win the pennant.

George Knox:  There’s a thing called “talent.” They don’t have it.

Ranch Wilder:  Whit Bass takes the mound with his oddball antics that are now well known to the fans.
Wally:  That’s right Ranch.  This season alone we’ve seen him lick dirt, eat bugs, and floss his catcher’s teeth in the dugout.

George Knox:  Hey, let’s keep the profanity down!  I mean it!  No swearing!
Ray Mitchell:  That eliminates all speech for most of the team.

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The Bad News Bears

Amanda Whurlitzer:  Look, Buttermaker, you’re not my father and I’ll not move an inch to play baseball for you any more.  So why don’t you get back into that sardine can of yours and go, go vacuum the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?  I’ve got business to take care of. You’re blocking my customers with your car.

Coach Morris Buttermaker:  Listen, Lupus, you didn’t come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya?  Now get your ass out there and do the best you can.

Ahmad Abdul Rahim:  [turns to the catcher]  This is for Allah.  And it’s goin’ way out there, sucka.

Tanner Boyle:  We lost eighteen to nothin’, Buttercrud, and the Athletics are the worst team in the league!
Ahmad Abdul Rahim:  Second worst.
Tanner Boyle:  Sorry, I forgot.

Regi Tower:  [Buttermaker passes out drunk during practice]  Opening day’s tomorrow!  We don’t know what the batting order is.  We don’t even have our positions set or anything.
Tanner Boyle:  All we got is a cruddy alchy for a manager!

Coach Morris Buttermaker:  All I know is when we win a game, it’s a team win. When we lose a game, it’s a team loss.

Tanner Boyle:  Those Yankees are real turds.

Top of Baseball Movie Quotes

Bang the Drum Slowly

Dutch Schnell:  Skip the facts, just gimme the details.

Henry Wiggen:  From here on in, I rag nobody.

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Narrator:  It is played everywhere.  In parks and playgrounds and prison yards. In back alleys and farmers’ fields.  By small children and old men.  Raw amateurs and millionaire professionals.  It is a leisurely game that demands blinding speed.  The only game in which the defense has the ball.  It follows the seasons, beginning each year with the fond expectancy of springtime, and ending with the hard facts of autumn.  It is a haunted game, in which every player is measured against the ghosts of all who have gone before.  Most of all, it is about time and timelessness.  Speed and grace.  Failure and loss.  Imperishable hope.  And coming home.

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The Bingo Long Traveling All Stars & Motor Kings

Leon Carter: [after Esquire Joe bowls him over with a slide at the plate]  Say, boy, does you do this constantly?
Esquire Joe Callaway:  No, suh.  I does it all the time.

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The Bronx is Burning

George Steinbrenner:  [arguing with Billy Martin]  I already got a pennant.  I want a ring!  If you can’t do it, then I will get someone who will.

Thurman Munson:  [to Reggie Jackson]  I don’t want to fight with you Reggie.  But, I don’t like you.

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Bull Durham

Crash Davis:  Relax, all right?  Don’t try to strike everybody out.  Strikeouts are boring!  Besides that, they’re fascist.  Throw some ground balls – it’s more democratic.

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh:  God, that sucker teed off on that like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball!
Crash Davis:  He did know.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh:  How?
Crash Davis:  I told him.

Crash Davis:  I’m the player to be named later.

Crash Davis:  You just got lesson number one: don’t think.  It can only hurt the ball club.

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh:  A good friend of mine used to say, “This is a very simple game.  You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball.  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.”  Think about that for a while.

Crash Davis:  Man that ball got outta here in a hurry.  I mean anything travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don’t you think?

Larry:  Okay, well, uh… candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she’s registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern.  Okay, let’s get two!  Go get ’em.

Crash Davis:  This guy is a first ball, fast ball hitter!
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh:  Well he hasn’t seen my heat!
Crash Davis:  All right meat, show him your heat.
[Walks back towards the batter’s box]
Crash Davis:  [to the batter]  Fast ball.

Crash Davis:  I wouldn’t dig in if I was you.  Next one might be at your head.  I don’t know where it’s gonna go.  Swear to God.

Crash Davis:  Come on, Rook.  Show us that million-dollar arm, ’cause I got a good idea about that five-cent head of yours.

Top of Baseball Movie Quotes


Al Stump:  Come on, Ty, aren’t you going to give Ruth credit for anything?
Ty Cobb:  He could run okay for a fat man.

Ty Cobb:  How do you do, Cyclops?
Umpire:  Shut up, Cobb.
Ty Cobb:  You’re missing an excellent ballgame.

Al Stump:  I gotta put your family in my book.
Ty Cobb:  Your book?  MY book!  And nothing about my ex-wives or my children is going to be in it.  My book is about baseball!
Al Stump:  My book is about Cobb.
Ty Cobb:  Cobb is Baseball!

Top of Baseball Movie Quotes

Damn Yankees!

Meg Boyd:  Is Washington winning, dear?
Joe Boyd:  No.  Those damn Yankees.

Joe Boyd:  One long ball hitter, that’s what we need!  I’d sell my soul for one long ball hitter.

Mr. Applegate:  Wives!  They cause me more trouble than the Methodist church.

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Eight Men Out

Chick Gandil:  You go back to Boston and turn seventy grand at the drop of a hat?  I find that hard to believe.
Sport Sullivan:  You say you can find seven men on the best club that ever took the field willin’ to throw the World Series?  I find that hard to believe.
Chick Gandil:  You never played for Charlie Comiskey.

1st Cincinnati Reds Player:  These guys don’t look so tough.
2nd Cincinnati Reds Player:  Yeah, that’s what Custer said when the Indians took the field.

Bill Burns:  Eddie’s the key.  If we don’t get him, we can forget about it.

Kid Gleason:  People are human.

Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis:  Regardless of the verdict of juries…no player who throws a ball game…no player who undertakes, or promises to throw a game…no player who sits in conference with a bunch of crooked players and gamblers where the ways and means of throwing a ball game are discussed, and does not promptly tell his club about it…will ever play professional baseball again.

Buck Weaver:  [about Shoeless Joe Jackson]  He was the best.  Run, hit, throw…he was the best.

Hap Felsch:  I may be dumb, fellas, but I ain’t stupid.

Buck Weaver:  You get out there, and the stands are full and everybody’s cheerin’.  It’s like everybody in the world come to see you.  And inside of that there’s the players, they’re yakkin’ it up.  The pitcher throws and you look for that pill…suddenly there’s nothing else in the ballpark but you and it.  Sometimes, when you feel right, there’s a groove there, and the bat just eases into it and meets that ball.  When the bat meets that ball and you feel that ball just give, you know it’s going to go a long way.  Damn, if you don’t feel like you’re going to live forever.

Eddie Collins:  Everybody’s got their own way of letting off steam, Ring.  It’s what you do on the field that counts.

Ring Lardner:  [about the 1919 White Sox]  I think they’re the best, Hughie.  The best ever.
Hugh Fullerton:  Time will tell, Ring.  Time will tell.

Eddie Cicotte:  I always figured it was talent made a man big, you know, if I was the best at something.  I mean, we’re the guys they come to see.  Without us, there ain’t a ballgame.  Yeah, but look at who’s holding the money and look at who’s facing a jail cell.  Talent don’t mean nothing.  And where’s Comiskey and Sullivan, Attell, Rothstein?  Out in the back room cutting up profits, that’s where. That’s the damn conspiracy.

Pee Wee:  Say it ain’t so, Joe.  Say it ain’t so.

Kid Gleason:  Put it away, Eddie.  I’m going with Wilkinson today.
Eddie Cicotte:  Why?
Kid Gleason:  You haven’t had your stuff lately, have you?
Eddie Cicotte:  But I feel right today, Kid.
Kid Gleason:  I can’t take any chances.  I’m sorry.
Eddie Cicotte:  Like I can’t lose, that’s how right I feel.
Kid Gleason:  Sure you do, Eddie.
Eddie Cicotte:  Kid!  I can’t miss.

Top of Baseball Movie Quotes

Everyone’s Hero

Darlin’:  [to Screwie]  Face it, Leatherface.  You’re beat.

Yankee Irving:  Thanks, Darlin’.
Darlin’:  No, no.  Thank you, Yankee.
Screwie:  Oh, brother!  You could pour this stuff on pancakes!

Bully Kid Tubby:  Hey, look.  A baseball.
Screwie:  Hey, look.  The missing link.

Announcer:  And it just goes to show you…you can be the smallest, you can be the weakest, you can be the worst player on the field.  But when people tell you you’re no good, and say you should give it up, you know what you do?  You just keep on swinging.

Screwie:  [bouncing down the fire escape]  My head!  My butt!  My head!  My butt!

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The Fan

Bobby Rayburn:  Look, what do you want?
Gil Renard:  What do I want?  I want every time they think of you, they’re gonna think of me.

Gil Renard:  I never got to show you my best pitch.

Bobby Rayburn:  You like baseball?
Gil Renard:  Well I’m not obsessed with it or anything.

Top of Baseball Movie Quotes

Fever Pitch

Lindsey Meeks:  If you love me enough to sell your tickets, I love you enough not to let you.

Reporter at Spring Training:  Where do the Sox rank in terms of importance in your life?
Ben:  I say the Red Sox…sex…and breathing.

Lindsey Meeks:  You don’t see us tangled up in the sheets with the Eiffel Tower in the background.  You see the Mariners are coming in, and Pedro’s pitching Friday.
Ben:  No, on Saturday.  Schilling’s Friday.

Ben:  You’re gonna get arrested.
Lindsey Meeks:  You can’t sell your tickets!
Ben:  That’s why you ran across the whole field?  Wait, you’ve got to tell me–was it spongy?

Ben:  [talking about baseball]  You can have a lucky day, sure, but you can’t have a lucky career.  It’s a little like math.  It’s orderly.  Win or lose, it’s fair.  It all adds up.  It’s, like, not as confusing or as ambiguous as, uh…
Lindsey Meeks:  Life?
Ben:  Yeah.  It’s…it’s safe.

Troy:  Why do we inflict this on ourselves?
Ben:  Why?  I’ll tell you why.  ‘Cause the Red Sox never let you down.
Troy:  Huh?
Ben:  That’s right.  I mean…why?  Because they haven’t won a World Series in a century or so?  So what?  They’re here.  Every April, they’re here.  At 1:05 or at 7:05, there is a game.  And if it gets rained out, guess what?  They make it up to you.  Does anyone else in your life do that?  The Red Sox don’t get divorced.  This is a real family.  This is the family that’s here for you.

Ben:  I like being part of something that’s bigger than me, than I.  It’s good for your soul to invest in something you can’t control.
Lindsey Meeks:  You’re a romantic.  You have a lyrical soul.  You can love under the best and worst conditions.

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Field of Dreams

Voice:  If you build it, he will come.

Voice:  Ease his pain.

Voice:  Go the distance.

Ray Kinsella
:  It’s okay, honey.  I was just talking to the cornfield.

Annie Kinsella
:  Hey, what if the voice calls while you’re gone?
Ray Kinsella:  Take a message.

Ray Kinsella:  Don’t we need a catcher?
Shoeless Joe Jackson:  Not if you get it near the plate we don’t.

Terence Mann:  Ray, people will come, Ray.  They’ll come to Iowa for reasons they can’t even fathom.  They’ll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they’re doing it.  They’ll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past.  Of course, we won’t mind if you look around, you’ll say.  It’s only $20 per person.  They’ll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack.  And they’ll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon.  They’ll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes.  And they’ll watch the game, and it’ll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters.  The memories will be so thick they’ll have to brush them away from their faces.  People will come Ray.  The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball.  America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers.  It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again.  But baseball has marked the time.  This field, this game, it’s a part of our past, Ray.  It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again.  Oh… people will come Ray.  People will most definitely come.

Ray Kinsella:  I have just created something totally illogical.

Ray Kinsella:  This is my corn.  You people are guests in my corn.

Archie Graham:  Hey ump, how ’bout a warning?
Umpire:  Sure, kid.  Watch out you don’t get killed.

Ray Kinsella:  The voice is back.
Annie Kinsella:  Oh, Lord.  You’re supposed to build a football field now?

Dr. Archibald “Moonlight” Graham:  Well, you know I…I never got to bat in the major leagues.  I would have liked to have had that chance.  Just once.  To stare down a big league pitcher.  To stare him down, and just as he goes into his windup, wink.  Make him think you know something he doesn’t.  That’s what I wish for.  Chance to squint at a sky so blue that it hurts your eyes just to look at it.  To feel the tingling in your arm as you connect with the ball.  To run the bases, stretch a double into a triple, and flop face-first into third, wrap your arms around the bag.  That’s my wish, Ray Kinsella.  That’s my wish.  And is there enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true?

Shoeless Joe Jackson:  Ty Cobb wanted to play, but none of us could stand the son-of-a-bitch when we were alive, so we told him to stick it!

John Kinsella:  Is this heaven?
Ray Kinsella:  It’s Iowa.

Ray Kinsella:  Hey…Dad?  You wanna have a catch?

[Shoeless Joe Jackson walks into the cornfield and disappears.]
Ray Kinsella:  We’re keeping this field.

Ray Kinsella:  I’m pitching to Shoeless Joe Jackson.

Ray Kinsella:  I did it all.  I listened to the voices, I did what they told me, and not once did I ask what’s in it for me.
Shoeless Joe Jackson:  What are you saying, Ray?
Ray Kinsella:  I’m saying…what’s in it for me?

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For Love of the Game

Jane Aubrey:  Do you lose very much?
Billy Chapel:  I lose.  I’ve lost 134 times.
Jane Aubrey:  You count them?
Billy Chapel:  We count everything.

Billy Chapel:  The game doesn’t stink, Mr. Wheeler.  It’s a great game.

Jane Aubrey:  What if my face was all scraped off and I was totally disfigured and had no arms and legs and I was completely paralyzed.  Would you still love me?
Billy Chapel:  No.  But we could still be friends.

Jane Aubrey:  You ever gotten your heart broken?
Billy Chapel:  Yeah.  When we lost the pennant in ’87.

Billy Chapel:  God, I always said I would never bother you about baseball.  Lord knows you have bigger things to worry about.  But if you could make this pain in my shoulder stop for ten minutes, I would really appreciate it.

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Game 6

Nicky Rogan:  The Red Sox are always winning, until they lose.

Nicky Rogan:  When the Mets lose, they just lose.  It’s a flat feeling; there’s nothing there.  Now the Red Sox, now, here, we have a rich history of really fascinating ways to lose a crucial game.  You know what I mean?  Defeats that just keep you awake at night.  They pound in your head like the hammer of fate. Yeah, you can analyze a Red Sox game day and night for a month and still uncover really complex layers of feelings.  Feelings you didn’t even know you were capable of having.  Yeah.  That kind of pain has a memory all of its own.

Nicky Rogan:  I coulda been happy.  I coulda been a Yankees fan.

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Conor O’Neill:  I want you guys to take a good look at yourselves and feel proud.  We made it here.  We’re here.  What I’ve learned from you is that really one of the most important things in life is showing up.  I’m blown away by your ability to show up through everything that’s gone on.  The league never wanted you to play this game, but you showed up.  But, uh, we only have eight players so, we can’t play.

Raymond ‘Ray Ray’ Bennet:  Coach Conor?  You’re not really trying to get Ms. Wilkes, are you?
Conor O’Neill:  No.
Raymond ‘Ray Ray’ Bennet:  Good.  ‘Cause I already tried and she ain’t havin’ it.
G-Baby:  Yeah, me too.

Conor O’ Neill:  I love it when you call me big poppa!

Conor O’Neill:  What?  Since you can’t talk s***, you got nothing to say?

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It Happens Every Spring

Manager Jimmy Dolan:  Kelly’s not indispensable!
Monk Lanigan:  I know, but the team can’t get along without him.

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Little Big League

Joey:  If I owned the Twins, I wouldn’t even show up here.  I’d just hire a bunch of scientists to do my homework.  I mean, if you’re rich you don’t have to be smart. That’s the whole beauty of this country.

Billy Heywood:  If Joe can paint a house in three hours and Sam can paint the same house in five hours, how long will it take to paint it together?
Mac:  Now wait a minute, you never said this was a word problem.

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Major League

Jake Taylor:  I play for the Indians.
Chaire Holloway:  Here in Cleveland?  I didn’t know they still had a team!
Jake Taylor:  Yup, we’ve got uniforms and everything, it’s really great!

Harry Doyle:  That’s all we got, one goddamn hit?
Assistant:  You can’t say goddamn on the air.
Harry Doyle:  Don’t worry, nobody is listening anyway.

Harry Doyle:  Just a reminder, fans, comin’ up is our “Die Hard Night” here at the stadium.  Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won a pennant.

Harry Doyle:  The post-game show is brought to you by…
[searches through his papers]
Harry Doyle:  Christ, I can’t find it.  To hell with it.

Pedro Cerrano:  Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curve ball.
Eddie Harris:  You trying to say Jesus Christ can’t hit a curve ball?

Harry Doyle:  This guy threw at his own son in a father son game.

Lou Brown:  You may run like Hayes, but you hit like s***.

Janice Bowden:  I hear baseball players make awfully good salaries nowadays.
Jake Taylor:  Well it all depends on how good you are.
Janice Bowden:  How good are you?
Jake Taylor:  I make the league minimum.

Willie Mays Hayes:  What the hell league you been playing in?
Rick Vaughn:  California Penal.
Willie Mays Hayes:  Never heard of it.  How’d you end up playing there?
Rick Vaughn:  Stole a car.

Harry Doyle:  Throw to first…Hayes is picked off!  Personally, I think we got hosed on that call.

Heywood:  Going somewhere, meat?
Willie Mays Hayes:  About 90 feet.

Harry Doyle:  JUST a bit outside.

Lou Brown:  All right people, we got 10 minutes ’till game time, let’s all gather ’round.  I’m not much for giving inspirational addresses, but I’d just like to point out that every newspaper in the country has picked us to finish last.  The local press seems to think that we’d save everyone the time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves.  Me, I’m for wasting sportswriters’ time.  So I figured we ought to hang around for a while and see if we can give ’em all a nice big s***burger to eat!

Harry Doyle:  So, here is Rick Vaughn, the one they call the “Wild Thing”.  So, he sets and deals.
[Vaughn throws a wild pitch]
Harry Doyle:  Just a bit outside, he tried for the corner and missed.
[Vaughn throws another wild pitch]
Harry Doyle:  Ball 4.
[Vaughn throws another wild pitch]
Harry Doyle:  Ball 8.
[Vaughn throws another wild pitch]
Harry Doyle:  Low, and he walks the bases loaded on 12 straight pitches.  How can these guys lay off pitches that close?

Jake Taylor:  [to Rexman]  Hell of a situation we got here.  Two on, two out, your team down by one in the ninth.  You got a chance to be a hero on national television…if you don’t blow it.  By the way, saw your wife last night, hell of a dancer, you must be very, very proud.  I mean that guy she was with, I’m sure he’s a close personal friend and all.  But tell me, what was he doing wearing her panties on his head.
[Rexman pops the ball straight up]
Jake Taylor:  Uh-oh, Rexy, I don’t think this one’s got the distance.

Harry Doyle:  Haywood swings and crushes this one toward South America. Tomlinson is gonna need a visa to catch this one.  It is out of here, and there is nothing left but a vapor trail.

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Billy Beane:  The problem we’re trying to solve is that there are rich teams and there are poor teams.  Then there’s fifty feet of crap, and then there’s us.  It’s an unfair game.

Oakland A’s Owner:  We’re not New York.

Peter Brand:  Your goal shouldn’t be to buy players.  Your goal should be to buy wins.  In order to buy wins, you need to buy runs.

Billy Beane:  We are card-counters at the blackjack table.  And we’re gonna turn the odds on the casino.

Scout:  I like Perez.
Scout:  He’s got an ugly girlfriend.  Ugly girlfriend means no confidence.

Billy Beane:  When your enemy’s making mistakes, don’t interrupt him.

Billy Beane:  I hate losing more than I love winning.

Billy Beane
:  Would you rather get one shot in the head or five in the chest and bleed to death?
Peter Brand:  Are…those my only options?

Billy Beane:  We want you at first base.
Scott Hatteberg:  I’ve only ever played catcher.
Billy Beane:  It’s not that hard, Scott.  Tell him, Wash.
Ron Washington:  It’s incredibly hard.

Billy Beane:  If we pull this off, we change the game.  We change the game for good.

Billy Beane:  I’m heading in.  Text me the play-by-play.
Peter Brand:  What?
Billy Beane:  I don’t watch the games.

David Justice:  What’s your biggest fear?
Scott Hatteberg:  A baseball being hit in my general direction.

Billy Beane:  How can you not be romantic about baseball?

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Mr. 3000

Big Horse Borelli:  You know, a lot of people said that Stan only looked out for himself, that he wasn’t a team player.  But I’m here to tell you, if you get 3000 hits, you don’t have to be a team player.  If you have a lifetime .314 average, you don’t have to be a good guy.  If you lead the league in batting for three years, you can be the biggest jerk in the world!

Stan:  Stan, you’re going to be the best looking cat in the Hall of Fame, that’s for dog gone sure.

Rex ‘T-Rex’ Pennebaker:  When you get a base hit in this millennium, then you can come on down there and talk to me.

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Mr. Baseball

Jack Eliot:  We’re not athletes, we’re baseball players!

Max ‘Hammer’ Dubois:  It’s like being a black guy back home. Only there’s less of us.

Jack Elliot:  C’mon, it ain’t over till the fat lady sings!
Yoji Nishimura, Jack’s Interpreter:  [subtitle as he translates to the team]  When the game is over, a fat lady will sing to us!

Jack Elliot:  Just let them have a little fun.
Uchiyama:  Baseball is work.  Not fun.
Jack Elliot:  Baseball is grown men getting paid to play a game.  When you were a kid, I bet you didn’t pick up a bat and ball because you were dying to work.  A player’s career is short enough.  Let them enjoy it.

Jack Elliot:  Baseball is a game, and games are supposed to be fun.

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The Natural

Roy Hobbs:  I coulda been better.  I coulda broke every record in the book.
Iris Gaines:  And then?
Roy Hobbs:  And then?  And then when I walked down the street people would’ve looked and they would’ve said there goes Roy Hobbs, the best there ever was in this game.

Roy Hobbs:  I guess some mistakes you never stop paying for.

Pop Fisher:  People don’t start playing ball at your age, they retire!

Pop Fisher:  You know my mama wanted me to be a farmer.
Roy Hobbs:  My dad wanted me to be a baseball player.
Pop Fisher:  Well you’re better than any player I ever had.  And you’re the best goddamn hitter I ever saw.  Suit up.

Pop Fisher:  I shoulda been a farmer.

‘Bump’ Bailey:  [after failing to catch a fly ball]  I lost it in the sun.
Pop Fisher:  [looks up at the cloudy sky]  Blinding.

Pop Fisher:  C’mon Hobbs, knock the cover off the ball!

Roy Hobbs:  Pick me out a winner, Bobby.

Psychologist:  Losing is a disease.

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The Perfect Game

Mario:  The unexpected play…
Enrique:  …at the unexpected time.

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The Pride of St. Louis

Roscoe:  Can Dizzy come out and play?

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The Pride of the Yankees

Lou Gehrig:  All the arguing in the world can’t change the decision of the umpire.

Lou Gehrig:  People have to live their own lives.  Nobody can live it for you. Nobody could have made a baseball player out of Uncle Otto, and nobody can make anything but a baseball player out of me.

Lou Gehrig:  Is it three strikes, Doc?
Clinic doctor:  You want it straight?
Lou Gehrig:  Yeah.
Clinic doctor:  It’s three strikes.

Lou Gehrig:  Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.

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The Rookie

Jimmy:  Anybody wanna tell me how we lost that game?  Hmm?  No?  How about taking a look at the numbers on that scoreboard out there?  What do those numbers tell you?
Joe David West:  How to get a hold of Bo’s Tire Barn?

:  You know what we get to do today, Brooks?  We get to play baseball.

Dave Patterson:  Jimmy, I’ve been a scout for a long time, and the number one rule is: arms slow down when they get old.  Now, if I call the office and tell ’em I got a guy here almost twice these kids’ age, I’m gonna get laughed at.  But, if I don’t call in a 98-mile-an-hour fastball, I’m gonna get fired!  I’m just saying there’s a chance you might get a call on this.

Sanchez:  So, Riv, what was it like watching the Babe play?
Jimmy:  You sure you wanna start this?
Sanchez:  How many fans did you lose when they raised ticket prices to 50 cents?
Jimmy:  Almost as many as we lose when you pitch!

Mac:  Jimmy, I just got off the phone with the big club.  They’re calling up Brooks.
Jimmy:  That’s great.  He won’t be back.
Mac:  He respects you, and I think you ought to be the one to tell him…being that you’re going, too.

Lorri:  So how does it feel to be the oldest rookie in the last 30 years?
Jimmy:  I don’t know…I’m tired.

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The Sandlot

Squints:  It’s about time Benny, my clothes are goin’ outta style.
Yeah Yeah:  They already are, Squints.
Squints:  Shut up.

Ham Porter:  Hey, Smalls, you wanna s’more?
Smalls:  Some more of what?
Ham Porter:  No, do you wanna s’more?
Smalls:  I haven’t had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
Ham Porter:  You’re killing me, Smalls!  These are s’mores stuff!  Okay, pay attention.  First, you take the graham, you stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the ‘mallow.  When the ‘mallows flaming…you stick it on the chocolate.  Then cover with the other end.  Then you scarf.  Kind of messy, but good!  Try some!

Ham Porter:  This pop isn’t working, Benny!  I’m baking like a toasted cheese-it!

Squints:  Where did your old man get that ball?
Smalls:  I don’t know.  Some lady gave it to him.  She even signed her name on it. Some lady named…Ruth.  Baby Ruth.

Smalls:  I was gonna put the ball back.
Squints:  But it was signed by Babe Ruth!
Smalls:  Yeah, you keep telling me that!  Who is she?
Ham Porter:  WHAT?  WHAT?
Kenny:  The sultan of swat!
Bertram:  The king of crash!
Timmy:  The colossus of clout!
Tommy:  The colossus of clout!

Narrator:  Michael Squints Palledorous walked a little taller that day.  And we had to tip our hats to him.  He was lucky she hadn’t beat the crap out of him.  We wouldn’t have blamed her.  What he’d done was sneaky, rotten, and low…and cool.  Not another one among us would have ever in a million years even for a million dollars have the guts to put the move on the lifeguard.  He did.  He had kissed a woman.  And he had kissed her long and good.  We got banned from the pool forever that day.  But every time we walked by after that, the lifeguard looked down from her tower, right over at Squints, and smiled.

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The Scout

Steve Nebraska:  Al, you’re like a dad to me.
Al Percolo:  But I’m not your dad.  I’m just a guy taking 15 percent.
Steve Nebraska:  I thought it was 10.

Steve Nebraska:  I got you something.  It’s a chocolate baseball bat.
Al Percolo:  [takes the bat and examines the end, which is broken]  Did you drop it?
Steve Nebraska:  I got a little hungry.

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The Stratton Story

Monty Stratton:  Honey, do you know there’s a tailor in Chicago that gives a suit of clothes away to any ballplayer that hits the scoreboard in center field?  As of yesterday the New York Yankees are the best dressed team in baseball.

Monty Stratton:  [after accidentally shooting himself in the leg]  I shot the wrong rabbit!

Ethel Stratton:  You told me once, “A man has to know where he’s goin’!”  Where are you goin’, Monte?

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The Winning Season

Honus Wagner:  There ain’t much to being a ballplayer, if you’re a ballplayer.

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Thanks to great baseball movie quotes like these, films about our national pastime continue to entertain us well after they’ve disappeared from the theaters.


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